All for Believing
by rubygrace
Summary: Sam's POV behind the shield in Upgrades and Divide and Conquer. Songfic to All for Believing by Missy Higgins


Hi, this is my first fanfic. Hope you like it. And pretty please review!

Spoilers for Upgrades and Divide and Conquer.

Also I'm an Aussie, and have used Australian spelling.

The song is "All for Believing" by the fantastic Missy Higgins.

Don't own anything Stargate: SG1 related, sadly. 

Hope you like it!

-Ruby

"All for Believing"

I'm not going to make it out of here alive. Probably won't make it out of here dead either. I'm stuck and I can hear the unmistakeable echoing footsteps of Apophis's Jaffa approaching. I think about it as I stare through the force field at Colonel O'Neill.

_Pull back the shield between us, and I'll kiss you,  
Drop your defences and come, into my arms.  
I'm all for believing, I'm all for believing._

He frantically attacks the control box, trying desperately to free me from my certain death. We both know that there's nothing he can do, yet he still tries to disable it with all his might, never giving up. We've encountered these Goa'uld force fields before, and they're pretty indestructible. He knows it, I know it, but still he keeps banging on that damn control panel. If he's going to get out of here alive he has to leave now. The footsteps are getting closer and I know that in a few moments we'll be discovered. I yell at him to go, to save himself, but he refuses, his anger and frustration boiling over with a booming "No". Our eyes lock and everything we've tried to deny, tried to keep secret for the sake of our reputations, for the sake of our careers, comes to the surface.

_I'm all for believing if you can reveal the true colours within.  
I know you blanket your mind so much that I am blind, _

_But I, I see you've painted your soul into your guard,  
I'm all for believing, I'm all for believing_

The professional walls we've built between each other come crashing down and our emotions pour out. Everything we've both tried so hard to hide is revealed, and in that one moment when our eyes meet, we both know. I know he'll never leave. He knows he'll never leave. I'd be doing the exact same thing if I was in his position.

_I need to know just how you feel, to comfort you; _

_I need to find the key to let me in, _

_Into your heart, to find your soul._

We stare at each other for what seems to be a lifetime when suddenly the C4 blows and the force field drops. If we run, we just might make it back home. So we run like we've never run before.

_Pull back the shield between us, and I'll kiss you,  
Drop your defences and come, into my arms. _

We're back at the SGC, and after the debriefings with General Hammond and the Tok'ra, we find ourselves alone in the locker room. Everything that happened hangs between us. We both honestly thought we wouldn't make it out of there alive, and now that we have, everything that flooded out of us, the raw emotion, the longing, the passion and most of all the love that we have for each other needs to be dealt with.

_I'm all for believing, if you can reveal, the true colours within,  
And say you will be there for me to hold,_

_When the faith grows old, and life turns cold, _

_When the faith grows old, and life turns cold._

"Carter."

"Sir."

He looks at me and we both know that nothing can be done. As soon as we made it back to the SGC we became Carter and Sir once more. We both know that we'll have to build our walls up once more, but this time we each know what is hiding behind those walls. It will be hard to go back after we've revealed our secret love for each other but we will have to. It's the only way.

_So if you're cold I will stay, maybe fate will guide the way. _

_I believe in what I see and baby we were meant to be,_

He walks over to me, gently brushes his hand down my bare arm and links his fingers with mine, giving my hand a brief reassuring squeeze.

"One day Sam." He says, staring into my eyes and still holding my hand. "One day."

"I know." I sigh, stare into his brown eyes that I love so much, and I believe him. One day we'll make it happen. We just have to keep believing that that day will come.

_Just believe_

_We were meant to be_

_Just believe _

_We were meant to be _

_Just believe _

_We were meant to be _

_Trust in me_


End file.
